Wake Up
by Imaginari-Mari
Summary: Ginny's been having trouble adjusting, and is trying to come to terms with it all. Originally a oneshot, now a multific. Songfic to Sober by Kelly Clarkson. Some onesided HPGW. Eventual HPHG, RWLL, NLGW.
1. Nothing's Real

**Wake Up**

**Chapter 1: Nothing's Real**

a/n: this was supposed to be a oneshot songfic about Ginny coming to terms with a burgeoning HPHG relationship, but it has ended up turning into a post-HBP "final battle" multi-chapter songfic, with eventual HPHG, RWLL, and NLGW pairings. The usual disclaimers apply.

**XXX**

Ginny sat on her bed at the Burrow, her knees curled up to her chest. A scroll of parchment was resting on top of her closed 5th year Transfiguration textbook, which in turn was resting on her thighs, in order to create a hard surface for her to write on.

Bill and Fleur's wedding was a mere week away, and everyone was bustling about to make this wedding absolutely perfect. Despite Bill's injuries, despite the looming threat of You-Know-Who and the coming war, the entire Order was going to make this wedding a reminder for all that there was still joy and love around them.

Bill had asked her to make a speech at the wedding; Gabrielle, the only other bridesmaid, was also to make one. Their speeches were supposed to be about love, about letting one's beloved sibling go, about finding true love. The two younger sisters had been decided on in place of the traditional speech by the best man; there were simply too many Weasley brothers to choose from, and none of them would have kept their speech even remotely appropriate.

Which was why Ginny was sitting inside her room on a gorgeous afternoon at the beginning of August, the sunlight causing the red in her hair to dance. Her brothers were outside, and judging by the amount of whooping and jeering coming from the open window, were playing Quidditch. Her mum was downstairs cooking dinner, and the Delacour sisters (Gabrielle had arrived the day before yesterday) were looking over Fleur's wedding gown and the gold bridesmaid dresses.

_Love. This damn speech is supposed to be about love._ Ginny shook her head;

love was not something she wanted to think about right now. Harry Potter had broken up

with her a little more than a month ago, and she was still feeling the sting.

She knew his reasons, and she had accepted them; she knew that he couldn't bear to have one more person he loved torn away from him. But the more she thought about it, she realized that while he tried to save her, he was also killing her.

**And I don't know**

**This could break my heart or save me**

Her heart was broken, but she was determined to get over it. She would never let him know how much she was hurting, for fear of causing him superfluous pain. As a result, she had avoided him ever since he had arrived at the Burrow on his 17th birthday. She really didn't know if he had noticed; he had been constantly with Ron and Hermione, whispering to each other in corners, and greeting anyone who interrupted them with a plastered-on smile.

**Nothing's real**

**Until you let go completely**

She knew that war was imminent. She also knew that, if she had a choice, she'd force Harry to stay at the Burrow. While she was determined to get over it, she was less adamant in forcing her thoughts to abandon the fantasy that had played in her head for months, years.

Harry would propose to her after the final battle. The final battle would have been won by the Order, and she'd happily say yes. Not soon after, Ron would propose to Hermione, and they'd have a beautiful double wedding in the fall. Their kids would grow up best friends and they'd all attend Hogwarts. Harry would be a famous Auror, Ginny would be a professional Chaser on the Chudley Cannons, Hermione would be a Healer at St. Mungo's, and Ron would be Harry's partner. And they'd all live happily ever after.

Of course, none of that was real. As beautiful as it sounded, it wasn't real and it couldn't happen. And in order to let Harry go, to let him do what he was quite literally destined to do, she needed to completely forget that fantasy.

And there was also the small problem of what was the budding relationship between her older brother and her best friend.

**So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving**

**So here I go with all my fears weighing on me**

Hermione and Ron had been dancing around each other for the past year, neither willing to admit that they had any sort of non-platonic feelings for the other. In the wake of Dumbledore's death, they had admitted some of it, although nonverbally.

They weren't together, even now at the Burrow, and it seemed like Hermione's affection was waning. She wasn't as willing to forgive him as she had been, and she was getting more and more irritated with the youngest Weasley boy.

Admittedly, she had mentioned none of this to Ginny. But her long scoffed-at woman's intuition told her that there was someone else that Hermione was pining after; unfortunately, this person didn't want to notice _anyone,_ let alone his bookworm best friend who was _supposed_ to be madly in love with his other best friend.

Ginny saw the way that Hermione threw glances at Harry over this past week, when Harry wasn't looking at anything but his hand, turning his wand over and over in his fingers, deep in thought. She saw the way that Harry would look at Hermione in turn, his eyes bright and filled with pain. She saw how Harry flinched every time Ron would touch Hermione in a way that was more than platonic; she saw how tense Hermione would get when Ron's arm snaked around her waist, and how she only relaxed when it was removed.

Ginny understood how this had happened. In the month before his birthday, he and Hermione had been in constant contact, discussing everything from his plans to go defeat Voldemort and not return to Hogwarts, to his affection for the youngest Weasley that he had managed to completely eradicate out of necessity, not malice. Hermione had explained it all during hers and Ginny's late night heart-to-hearts.

Of course, Ginny could not help notice the large dollop of honey that crept its way into Hermione's voice whenever she talked about Harry. Hermione wanted to protect him, to soothe him, to tell him that no matter what, things would turn out okay; she was the only person he would tolerate such optimism from. She and him were closer then they ever had been, and Ginny was kind enough to not interfere, despite her desire to slap Hermione for falling in love with the boy that she loved, who had dumped her a mere month and a half ago, and who was also not her brother.

But Ginny saved these thoughts, pouring them into her journal. She ranted about loving Harry, Hermione's feelings for Harry, Harry's feelings for Hermione that she could only guess at – everything. She was just so deathly afraid that Ron would get hurt.

The poor boy was completely oblivious to Hermione's increasing uncomfortability with him, and Ginny felt the guilt of not telling him about it every time she saw the Golden Trio hanging out, with the Chosen One slightly apart from the two supposed lovebirds.

Ginny sighed, and yanked her thoughts away from the people yelling and laughing outside of her window. She had a speech to write, one about a subject she knew so much about, but so little too.


	2. Never Really Over

**Wake Up**

**Chapter 2: Never Really Over**

a/n: Sorry this chapter is so short; it just seemed like a logical place to end it, seeing as I am updating because I have the first three chapters done. Usual disclaimers; R&R!!

Please? I am offering cookies.

**XXX**

**Three months and I'm still sober**

**Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers**

**But I know it's never really over**

Bill and Fleur's wedding was three months ago. Looking back, Ginny wished she could have written a letter to herself, warning her and everyone else that the war was closer than they had thought. The wedding hadn't been over for twenty-four hours before the Death Eaters struck, determined to show the Order exactly who was calling the shots.

The Order had won handily, but the time of fairy-tale weddings and reminding every one of the love and joy they felt for one another was over.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione disappeared on their quest to find the four remaining Horcruxes soon after. Hermione had told Ginny everything; in case they happened to not survive, Ginny could tell the Order exactly what had happened.

It had been three months since they had left, and Ginny had remained cool, calm, and expected nothing- in other words, sober. She expected neither a victory nor a failure; it was the only way she could keep herself sane.

She had cleaned out her mind, eradicating any thoughts other than her school work and the welfare of her mother. Hogwarts had reopened, despite the death of its beloved Headmaster, and Ginny had begged and fought to be allowed to go back. Mrs. Weasley had refused up until the moment Ginny had illegally Apparated to King's Cross Station on September 1st, and then reluctantly allowed her to go, but not without a few extra rules.

She wrote her mother every day, not only because she had been ordered to, but because she knew her mother was quite literally worrying herself sick over Ginny being so far away, and Ron up and leaving to go fight in the war, on top of her normal worries about her other children and her now constantly working husband. If anything, Mrs. Weasley wasn't sober.

Try as Ginny might, however, she could never completely get the Golden Trio, particularly Harry, out of her mind. She wanted him to be safe, and to come back to her, whole and still in love with her. With her, it wasn't really over.

"Dammit," she would mutter under her breath every night, oblivious to the stares of her dorm mates. "I still love him."


	3. Get It Right

**Wake Up**

**Chapter 3: Get It Right**

a/n: So this chapter is very long. But as it's not supposed be like the novel, and still from Ginny's point of view, I really didn't think that Harry's anguish about Wormtail's revelation would be necessary for Ginny to know just yet. You'll see. Usual disclaimers.

**XXX**

**And I don't know**

**I could crash and burn but maybe**

**At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me**

One cold night at the end of November, Harry, Ron and Hermione showed up outside the gates of Hogwarts, bloody and bruised but triumphant. After they had been escorted to the hospital wing, Headmistress McGonagall herself had fetched Ginny.

When she entered the hospital wing, she was greeted with a surprise; she had been in the library when the news of the Trio's arrival had hit the rest of the castle, so it came as a shock to find the three people she had been trying not to think of mere moments before suddenly in front of her eyes.

"Ginny!" Ron cried from the bed he was sitting on with a rather reluctant looking Hermione.

Harry's left arm was in a sling, Hermione's right cheek was cut, and Ron had a gash along his thigh, but on the night table to the left of them sat an item that looked very out of place in the sterile ward: a heavy gold locket that Ginny recognized as having seen before at Grimmauld place, now with a large crack down it's center; and a large, ornate silver jewelry box with the seal of Rowena Ravenclaw on its lid, also with a large crack down the middle.

Smiling, the trio beckoned her to sit with them, and that she did, although she bristled when Ron scooted over next to Hermione and tried to take the bushy-haired girl's hand. Apparently, Hermione still couldn't tell Ron that she liked Harry. The object of her true affection ignored the two of them, the momentary pain in his eyes slammed behind a mental door of well practiced dispassion.

Ignoring the glares directed at her by Ginny, Hermione told her of what had happened within the past three and a half months.

Right after the wedding, they had taken their trip to Godric's Hollow, and once at the Potter house, fund that they had company. Peter Pettigrew was sitting on a pile of rubble, looking very much underfed and worn out. But before any of them could pull their wands out on him, he threw his own to them, putting himself at their mercy.

Hermione explained that he had been placed as the guard at Godric's Hollow by Voldemort, to guard a Horcrux. This Horcrux, he explained, was much different than any other. This Horcrux was living, breathing, and had a mind of its own. They had half-expected to find Nagini lying amongst the rotting wood that had once been the frame of the house, but Wormtail shook his head. The Dark Lord had never told him what it was, but he had found out anyway.

The discovery had taken place very recently, and with this discovery, Pettigrew said, came the realization if why he was placed into Gryffindor in the first place. He had yet to be brave, but he now could.

"Harry, you're the Horcrux," he said, tears coming to his eyes. "I'm guarding the magical traces of it. You're a Horcrux, and in order to defeat him, your life must be sacrificed."

Ginny had gasped at that, but Hermione stopped her.

"Don't worry, we have an idea. And Harry has already gotten used to the idea. It _was _three months ago."

Hermione continued her story. Wormtail then went on to explain that he had been wrong, obviously, in betraying James and Lily. By telling Harry that he was a Horcrux, he had betrayed the Dark Lord in a way that would mean instant death the next time he reported for a meeting, but he was glad to sacrifice himself for the former best friends' son. And with that, he grabbed his wand back, and killed himself with a self-directed killing curse. They had stayed in the Hollow for a few days to get over the shock, but left when they realized that they had to destroy all of the other Horcruxes before they could even think about the possibility of Harry dying.

The trio had then gone on a wild goose chase, trying to find the mysterious RAB. Eventually, they found themselves in need of rest, and had apparated to the only place they could think of that would provide a safe-haven, Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Without Dumbledore, the Order had never returned, so they found the place deserted. Harry had found himself in front of the tapestry Sirius had shown him and explained to him so long ago, when his eyes alighted on a name. Regulus Ares Black. RAB.

This realization had led to Hermione remembering the locket they had found while cleaning the library two years pervious, and after some searching had found a large, heavy locket with the tarnished seal of Slytherin emblazoned on it. Horcrux number three was found and destroyed.

It was by sheer luck that they had found the fourth Horcrux, Ravenclaw's jewelry box. They had followed a lead that turned out to be nothing into Hogsmeade. In the Hog's Head they had gotten into an actual conversation with the bartender, who turned out to be Dumbledore's eccentric, goat-loving brother, Aberforth.

He told them how a clearing had slowly been appearing in the Forbidden Forest, with trees blackening and animals found dead. The three of them, with no other leads to follow, decided to check it out. Deep in the forest, they went in the opposing direction of scurrying animals, until they came upon a badly injured unicorn.

It was Ron's quick thinking that saved the animals life, to Ginny's surprise. He had healed its injuries with an _Episkey_ charm, which Harry and Hermione had been too shocked and upset to use. The unicorn, now standing and well, seemed to take a liking to Ron (especially his hair), and at his question brought them as close as it dared to what had injured it before rearing and galloping away.

They had been brought to the edge of a clearing, where at the very center was a rock unnaturally silver in color. This rock turned out to be the jewelry box, and before long it was discovered to be Horcux number four, and was promptly destroyed, albeit with injuries to the Trio, which is why they made their way back to Hogwarts, the closest safe haven they knew.

As the trio finished telling their tale, Ginny smiled, allowing herself a bit of optimistic thought. Maybe people were going to get hurt, and maybe the war would be long, but she could glimpse herself and the three friends the end of it, with the light winning and the dark defeated.

**So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right**

**No comparing, second guessing, no not this time**

Ron and Hermione had fallen asleep a little while later, having been interrogated by McGonagall and various other members of the Order who had arrived over the course of night. Harry was still awake, turning his wand over and over in his hands while Ginny watched him from her chair by Ron's bed. Her mum had left the room to speak with the rest of the Order, who were holding an impromptu meeting in the hall.

After a few minutes of silence, Harry looked up and gestured for her to come over to him.

Ginny was surprised at her former lover's acknowledgement of her presence, but complied. She levitated her chair over to his bed, and he shifted so that he faced her, sitting cross-legged.

"Yes?" she asked as she sat down.

"Gin, I've been doing some thinking."

She felt her heart rate increase, but immediately tampered down the hope that flared within her. She had seen the way he looked at Hermione just an hour before. He was _not_ going to declare his undying love.

"Defeating these Horcruxes so far has been difficult, almost too much for the three of us. We haven't been physically ravaged yet, but the emotional and mental strain is destroying our friendship."

He met her eyes, his formerly dispassionate gaze now plaintive and pleading.

"Ginny, I need them. They're the best friends I've got, and without them I have no chance against Voldemort. Love is supposedly my greatest power, my only means of defeating him."

He sighed heavily and looked away from her and at his hands again.

"I've talked to Hermione about it, and she came up with something. Ron and I were firmly opposed to the idea, but the more she pressed it the more I began to realize how much sense it made, despite the fact that it goes against exactly I was trying to do."

Ginny gritted her teeth; of course, if it was Hermione's suggestion, he couldn't disagree for long. She fought to keep her jealousy in check.

"What was this idea?"

"That- that if you were willing, you could come with us to find the remaining two horcruxes. We've just got the goblet and the snake, now; but I understand that when I, erm.. ended things with you, I told you that I didn't want you to come with me and that you couldn't be with me, but we need you, Gin," he babbled.

She arched an eyebrow at him in shock.

"You want me to help?"

"To keep us together. You're all of our friend, and friendship and love are our greatest defense against Voldemort. We need you not only for that, but you are a talented witch."

He nodded at her, and she smiled, but it was soon replaced by a jealous frown.

"Hermione's been getting miffed; she can't be the brains of the outfit constantly."

Ginny nodded stiffly, and then looked at the sleeping forms of Ron and Hermione. She had always wanted to be included among them, as an equal. Now she was getting that chance, to fight alongside those she held most dear. She wasn't worried about fighting, not right now; she would when the timing was right.

No, this was going to be right. She wouldn't compare herself to Hermione in her planned quest to win back Harry's affection; she would never second-guess her decision. Because this time things were going to go right.

She would be fighting alongside the Golden Trio, alongside the Chosen One.


End file.
